Listen to this while you're waiting, it can be like morbid pump up music:
And that's how Clara C's it!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I'm Still Alive
I'm still here! My philosophy paper didn't quite manage to finish me off, although it came close. However, I still have a hell of a couple days coming up. So those of you who got a bequest, just hold tight, there may be hope for you yet.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Just Give Me a Chance To Convince Myself
I'm about to potentially make a very bad life decision...who's going to stop me? No one.
I have to go to the Fleet Foxes concert on Wednesday. I have to. The universe has given me multiple signs. Sign number one was that I got paid on Friday so now I ample money with which to buy the ticket and sign number two was that there was a sign (which I promptly stashed in my backpack) for it posted in our student center. So question of the week is, how can I not go?
I mean, let's get real, the only thing that could measure up to going to a Fleet Foxes concert would be a Bon Iver concert or Andrew Bird, but Bon Iver is heading out on its Euro tour and Andrew Bird is skipping right over Cleveland. So I have no choice. It's this or nothing. Right?
I'll never forgive myself if I don't go. Ever....ever...........ever
And that's how Clara C's it!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
If I Die At The Hand of Socrates...
I have to write a philosophy paper that might actually just kill me so...
Some bequests:
To Miss Maggie Hutchison I leave my body pillow to remember me by.
To Carolyn Rudy I leave my comforter and duvet cover.
To Miss Sarah Stanley I leave my collection of vintage crew neck sweatshirts.
To Carrie Vollentine I bequeath my assortment of rockin' cardigans.
I bequeath all of my accessories to Dhurata Bregu.
I leave my three Sharpie pens to John Weinandy. They are very nice pens.
Jeffrey Grant Baker, you can look after Zoe and Plant, the two living things that I have been given responsibility of.
I leave my mustache mug to Mr. Nicholas Wojtasik since he has always wanted facial hair of his own.
To Matthew Tarchick I leave my 'sick' alarm clock. Try not to smash it to smithereens the first time it beeps annoyingly at seven in the morning.
I leave all of my tea to Marissa Miller because I know she appreciates it.
To Kayli Horne I leave all of my books (this means you don't have to return A Tree Grows in Brooklyn).
To Miss Jennifer C. Kalejs and Mr. Isaac Helsen I leave the Pruin St.-Pine Hollow block. Guard it well, sultans.
Mr. Nicholas Sciarappa, you can have my fez. Wear it while you play your ukulele.
AND
To Kendall Schreur I leave my computer, since yours sucks.
If I have anything that you want just holla sometime before Friday and I'll see what I can do.
And that's how Clara C's it!
P.S. If I don't actually die consider these bequests null and void.
Some bequests:
To Miss Maggie Hutchison I leave my body pillow to remember me by.
To Carolyn Rudy I leave my comforter and duvet cover.
To Miss Sarah Stanley I leave my collection of vintage crew neck sweatshirts.
To Carrie Vollentine I bequeath my assortment of rockin' cardigans.
I bequeath all of my accessories to Dhurata Bregu.
I leave my three Sharpie pens to John Weinandy. They are very nice pens.
Jeffrey Grant Baker, you can look after Zoe and Plant, the two living things that I have been given responsibility of.
I leave my mustache mug to Mr. Nicholas Wojtasik since he has always wanted facial hair of his own.
To Matthew Tarchick I leave my 'sick' alarm clock. Try not to smash it to smithereens the first time it beeps annoyingly at seven in the morning.
I leave all of my tea to Marissa Miller because I know she appreciates it.
To Kayli Horne I leave all of my books (this means you don't have to return A Tree Grows in Brooklyn).
To Miss Jennifer C. Kalejs and Mr. Isaac Helsen I leave the Pruin St.-Pine Hollow block. Guard it well, sultans.
Mr. Nicholas Sciarappa, you can have my fez. Wear it while you play your ukulele.
AND
To Kendall Schreur I leave my computer, since yours sucks.
If I have anything that you want just holla sometime before Friday and I'll see what I can do.
And that's how Clara C's it!
P.S. If I don't actually die consider these bequests null and void.
Monday, September 19, 2011
An Opportunity to Judge Me
Today is William Golding's birthday.
Who is that, you might ask? Remember reading a little book called Lord of the Flies (or maybe you're trying to forget that you had to read it)? Yeah, William Golding is the author of Lord of the Flies and judge me however you like it is one of my favorite books.
William Golding won a Pulitzer Prize, but not for Lord of the Flies he won it for a book called Pincher Martin. Ever heard of it? My guess is probably not, unless you are into a very specific period/style of British writing or you really like allegory. Like Lord of the Flies, Pincher Martin examines the true nature of the human being and the darkness in man's heart. Pincher Martin is even weirder than Lord of the Flies, though, so if you are going to read it, prepare yourself.
I don't know, I think Lord of the Flies is a really cool book. It's one of those ones that made me think, one of the very few that I read during sophomore year that did. Do I sound like a pretentious English major ass? Probably. So what, who cares. Today I spent Religion class noticing grammatical errors on the power point slides.
SO WHAT WHO CARES?!
And that's how Clara C's it!
Who is that, you might ask? Remember reading a little book called Lord of the Flies (or maybe you're trying to forget that you had to read it)? Yeah, William Golding is the author of Lord of the Flies and judge me however you like it is one of my favorite books.
William Golding won a Pulitzer Prize, but not for Lord of the Flies he won it for a book called Pincher Martin. Ever heard of it? My guess is probably not, unless you are into a very specific period/style of British writing or you really like allegory. Like Lord of the Flies, Pincher Martin examines the true nature of the human being and the darkness in man's heart. Pincher Martin is even weirder than Lord of the Flies, though, so if you are going to read it, prepare yourself.
Poor Piggy.
I don't know, I think Lord of the Flies is a really cool book. It's one of those ones that made me think, one of the very few that I read during sophomore year that did. Do I sound like a pretentious English major ass? Probably. So what, who cares. Today I spent Religion class noticing grammatical errors on the power point slides.
SO WHAT WHO CARES?!
And that's how Clara C's it!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Next Big TV Sensation
I swear, between Maggie (my roommate) and I, enough awkward/weird things happen that our lives could be made into a NBC sitcom. Last night we sat down and made up a list of the awkward (or weird) things that have happened to us in the past week alone. There were 15 of them. And probably more that we don't remember.
I won't post them all, just in case our lives ever do end up on your television screen. That way it will be a surprise. But anyway, here's a little sample:
1. We got caught spying on someone who was sitting outside our window. The person who we were watching turned and waved to us. We are officially creepy.
2. Maggie tried to talk to the boy who sits next to her in Econ and in her mind she managed to form a coherent sentence, but it came out sounding like she was mentally challenged.
3. I mistook the door to someone's room for the door to the stairwell and almost walked into a room full of strangers.
4. I bought a pineapple and carried it around campus for a good ten minutes or more before taking it back to my room.
5. Maggie threw the pineapple top out of the window with the intention of hitting our friend Kate, but instead she almost hit Father Bernie.
6. Maggie wore footie pajamas around our building.
7. We run into Father Bernie whenever we are doing something weird or semi-ridiculous.
8. My speech professor encourages that boy next to me (who is only slightly creepy) to check me out. I proceed to die of embarrassment and disgust.
The list goes on, and will probably keep growing as we make our way through the school year, but I will stop there, lest I give anyone the wrong impression.
I won't post them all, just in case our lives ever do end up on your television screen. That way it will be a surprise. But anyway, here's a little sample:
1. We got caught spying on someone who was sitting outside our window. The person who we were watching turned and waved to us. We are officially creepy.
2. Maggie tried to talk to the boy who sits next to her in Econ and in her mind she managed to form a coherent sentence, but it came out sounding like she was mentally challenged.
3. I mistook the door to someone's room for the door to the stairwell and almost walked into a room full of strangers.
4. I bought a pineapple and carried it around campus for a good ten minutes or more before taking it back to my room.
5. Maggie threw the pineapple top out of the window with the intention of hitting our friend Kate, but instead she almost hit Father Bernie.
6. Maggie wore footie pajamas around our building.
7. We run into Father Bernie whenever we are doing something weird or semi-ridiculous.
8. My speech professor encourages that boy next to me (who is only slightly creepy) to check me out. I proceed to die of embarrassment and disgust.
The list goes on, and will probably keep growing as we make our way through the school year, but I will stop there, lest I give anyone the wrong impression.
Awkward family photo (why do I own so many weird things?).
P.S. Note the infamous pineapple top.
"Situations are only awkward if you make them awkward."
P.S. Note the infamous pineapple top.
"Situations are only awkward if you make them awkward."
And that's how Clara C's it!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
What Is Going On In My Mind!?
Lately I have been having the weirdest dreams. Like, they are absolutely not normal. Not that dreams are ever really normal, at least not in my case, but for the past week and a half they have been even more bizarre than normal.
Let's see, about a week ago I had a dream that I was Frodo Baggins and the One Ring was not a ring, but rather a set of really bad-ass brass knuckles.
Last night I dreamed that I was on a hunt for the perfect shade of red lipstick, but when I found it, it was more like a crayon than normal lipstick. I was all set to buy it, but then I realized that it was super high tech and cost me upwards of 50 dollars.
I also had a dream last night about a hibernating hedgehog that was covered with cobwebs and we couldn't decide if it was dead or just sleeping so we consulted another hedgehog to see what he thought...
Last week I had a dream during which I burst into tears because I found out that Garrison Keillor was going to be retiring (this is true, by the way, he is going to be retiring in 2013, but in real life I didn't cry when I found out).
I might start doing a little experiment, for which I will record what I eat before I go to bed and then write down what my dreams were about and see how weird they are based on what foods I eat. Last night I think my weird dreams may have been due to a combination of Nutella and cheese...but that's just a hypothesis.
My room-mate tried to make me dream about something. She told me to dream about turtles in the water. I did not dream about turtles in the water.
I've also heard that if you eat peanuts before you go to bed it makes your dreams more vivid, so I might start doing that.
And that's how Clara C's it!
Let's see, about a week ago I had a dream that I was Frodo Baggins and the One Ring was not a ring, but rather a set of really bad-ass brass knuckles.
(Or rather, one set of brass knuckles to rule them all)
Last night I dreamed that I was on a hunt for the perfect shade of red lipstick, but when I found it, it was more like a crayon than normal lipstick. I was all set to buy it, but then I realized that it was super high tech and cost me upwards of 50 dollars.
I also had a dream last night about a hibernating hedgehog that was covered with cobwebs and we couldn't decide if it was dead or just sleeping so we consulted another hedgehog to see what he thought...
Last week I had a dream during which I burst into tears because I found out that Garrison Keillor was going to be retiring (this is true, by the way, he is going to be retiring in 2013, but in real life I didn't cry when I found out).
I might start doing a little experiment, for which I will record what I eat before I go to bed and then write down what my dreams were about and see how weird they are based on what foods I eat. Last night I think my weird dreams may have been due to a combination of Nutella and cheese...but that's just a hypothesis.
My room-mate tried to make me dream about something. She told me to dream about turtles in the water. I did not dream about turtles in the water.
I've also heard that if you eat peanuts before you go to bed it makes your dreams more vivid, so I might start doing that.
"For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean, or glide over the highest cloud."
And that's how Clara C's it!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Little Bloggie! It's our anniversary!
It's true. I have been blogging for one year today. All my dear little readers have gotten to see what a year is like in Clara's head. What goes on. What I do. What I neglect to do.
Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Just a few milestones, wouldn't want to bore you.
On September 7th, 2010 I had my first post. I blogged about college and all the new experiences I was having.
On September 17th the first word out of my mouth was "dammit".
On September 21st Rosebud (my teddy) arrived in the mail.
On October 24th I had a chat with God himself.
On November 20th I went on a rant about bros
On November 24th I finally blogged from home.
On November 29th I learned how to post pictures.
On December 13th finals week began and I started hating my life.
On December 30th I made a list of things that stave off boredom.
On January 5th, 2011 I told the story of my life.
On March 17th I went crazy because it was St. Patrick's Day.
On April 29th I wished Harper Lee a Happy Birthday.
On May 24th I blogged about beards.
On June 24th I blogged about people who are famous and like the outdoors.
On the Fourth of July I celebrated like any good American would.
On August 13th I pitted the greatest wizards of all time against one another.
I guess that brings us up to speed. It's been a good year. I'm sorry if I've bored you, but hopefully I've made you laugh at least a couple times.
And that's how Clara C's it!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
A List
To make this easy on you, dear reader, I'm just going to make a list of all the things that are new in my life since I last blogged. Ready? Go.
1. I got a twitter (claraplast, follow me).
2. I got a new bike for 15 dollars (a Schwinn collegiate from the '60s. It's pretty intense).
3. I packed all of my belongings into a car and headed back down to Cleveland (in short I'm back at school).
4. I started classes (the bane of my existence).
5. I discovered that Ryan Gosling has a band (it's called Dead Man's Bones).
6. I've discovered that I have a natural affinity for taking classes that might actually kill me (aka Greek Philosophy and Classical Greek Language).
That's about it. I'm no longer blogging from my cozy little house, but rather from my desk in my dorm, a new dorm, mind you. One that's much cleaner, and quieter, and better.
1. I got a twitter (claraplast, follow me).
2. I got a new bike for 15 dollars (a Schwinn collegiate from the '60s. It's pretty intense).
3. I packed all of my belongings into a car and headed back down to Cleveland (in short I'm back at school).
4. I started classes (the bane of my existence).
5. I discovered that Ryan Gosling has a band (it's called Dead Man's Bones).
6. I've discovered that I have a natural affinity for taking classes that might actually kill me (aka Greek Philosophy and Classical Greek Language).
That's about it. I'm no longer blogging from my cozy little house, but rather from my desk in my dorm, a new dorm, mind you. One that's much cleaner, and quieter, and better.
"You always stop at the same part, when it is very beautiful."
And that's how Clara C's it!
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