Poetry Hour (revisited with a sense of humor)

So, a few weeks ago I shared some of my favorite good poems with you, but there is something about me that you may not know.  I also have some favorite BAD poetry.  It all comes from a book called B is for Bad Poetry by Pamela August Russell.  So here is a sample:

Nietzsche and the Ice-Cream Truck
God is dead.  
But this atomic
berry blast Popsicle
is heavenly.

A Brief History of Feminism 

Sally sells seashells 

by the seashore

as if people didn't know

you could just 

go to the beach 

and find them yourself. 

College Notebook 
Existentialism can be applied to anything.
Every moment is a continuous choice. 
How do we find meaning?
Kegger at Bryce Hall 3:30 P.M.

How To Save a Tangerine From Suffering

Never peel it. 

Use it to practice 

juggling instead. 

Give it a name.

The Cheese Poem

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese"

--G.K. Chesterton

Gouda, Brie, Fontina, 

Feta, Parmesan, Cow's Milk, 

Limburger, Roquefort, Havarti, 

Blue, Romano, Cottage. 

There.  I've milked it

for all it's worth.

The Perfect Love Poem

Every time 

I see your face 

it reminds me 

of you.

The World Is Not a Safe Place 

The world is not a safe place for lovers. 

For instance, mine was hit by a bus.

Effigy and Excuse

It's not you, it's me.

Or someone like me

only much worse.

B is for Bad Poetry
Bad Poetry!
You can just 
sit in the corner 
until you learn 
how to rhyme.



That's all for today.  If you enjoyed these poems I highly suggest buying yourself a copy of the book.  All credit for the poetry goes to Ms. Russell.  Her poems may be bad, but they're better than any I could write.  So thank her for the chuckles. 



And that's how Clara C's it!

Not in Nottingham

Two things today.  


Thing number one:   I found out on Saturday that Garrison Keillor is retiring as the host of A Prairie Home Companion in the spring of 2013.  I guess it's understandable, since he started hosting when he was 32 and now he is 68, but I still have a selfish wish that he could go on hosting the show until I am done wanting to listen to it (which will probably be when I die).  I have two years to listen to as much PHC as I possibly can....maybe I will be the next host...HA!  

Thing number two:  One of my favorite Disney movies is Robin Hood.  

What a FOX!  Oh gosh, that was bad.  I'm sorry.

Robin Hood has a really good soundtrack (Roger Miller "King of the Road" did all the music for it) and I recently found a version of "Not in Nottingham" (which won an Oscar) done by Mumford and Sons (who I love).  It's really fantastic.  

This is the original version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSXM3Zg0eBo

This is the Mum and Sons version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaQtKZUKlVg&feature=related

OH DE LALLY! OH DE LALLY!  GOLLY, WHAT A DAY!

And that's how Clara C's it!

My Kind of Tournament

One of my favorite organizations that I support is a website called "Out of Print".  When you buy a t-shirt from Out of Print they donate books to children in Africa.  I have always loved to read and I think it's great that there is an organization that is opening up the world of literature to children who might not otherwise be able to experience it.  


They are doing something this March that I think is really cool.  They've basically said, "March Madness, March Shmadness.  Poo poo to basketball.  We are making a BOOK BRACKET!"  In the book bracket different works of literature are pitted against each other and you can vote on which one advances into the next round.  There are four divisions (four libraries) and all the books come from different libraries.  Take a look:

That's the bracket as of this afternoon.  I'm rooting for either The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, or The Catcher in the Rye.  I really wouldn't cry my eyes out if any of them won, EXCEPT Lolita.  I've never read it, but according to some very, very reliable sources it is very, very creepy.  Either way I think this is absolutely brilliant and I can't wait to see who the winner is! 

I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT BOOKS.

A special shout out to my soul sister Alyssa Brooown!  I'm sure you're having a wonderful evening of speech writing.

And that's how Clara C's it!

Thankful for Thunderstorms.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so let us all be thankful."

I had a very good afternoon today.  A series of things happened to make this afternoon so good.  

I.)  I was listening to Iron and Wine, one of my favorite bands. 

II.)  I was reading Thomas Merton, who has quickly become one of my favorite authors. 

III.)  It started thundering.  

Mix those things up in a giant stew pot and what do you get?  A really good afternoon.

I might consider moving to South Dakota just because they have spectacles like this, but then again, there is nothing better than watching a storm roll in across Lake Michigan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PIi0hIT4XQ&feature=related

That is currently my favorite Iron and Wine song.  It's actually tied with another called Upwards Over the Mountain.  Give that one a listen too, if you get the chance.  Here, I'll even make it easy for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kh09MuIfIU&feature=related

And that's how Clara C's it!

Éirinn go Brách

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, DEAR READER!

Erin Go Bragh and all that jazz.  I would change the settings of the blog so that everything was green and festive, but frankly, I don't think I would be able to get them back exactly the way they were and that would really bother me.


I like St. Patrick's day.  It's a lot of fun, especially on a college campus.  People start drinking at seven in the morning and they don't stop until the wee hours of the night.  Kids have the balls to come to class drunk.  During the day campus is a ghost town because everyone is downtown at the parade, but at night the fun begins.  I can't wait.

Did you know that there is a city in Ireland called Clara?  Check it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clara
I mean, it's a pretty tiny town, but I don't really care.  When I study abroad I'm going to go there and drink a Guiness in honor of the town, and my name.

Okay, so I'm going to keep bombarding you with ecards because I find them so funny and there are some really great St. Patrick's Day ones.  Enjoy!

St. Patrick's Day celebrates the feast day of St. Patrick, who was responisble for bringing Christianity to the island.  My friend Michael (who is very Italian and doesn't participate the the day's festivities) would want me to include that St. Patrick's parents were from Italy.  The day is marked by the breaking of the Lenten fast and much drinking, reveling, and eating of corned beef and cabbage. 

Legend tells us that St. Patrick is responible for ridding the island of its snake population.  The myth also tells us that he used the shamrock (or three leaf clover) to teach the pagans the mystery of the Holy Trinity. 

I do think it's funny how everyone celebrates St. Patrick's day, but not any other saint's days.  I think it has to do with the number of Irish immigrants who came to the United States and brought the tradition with them.  However, I do think that there are some other saints who deserve shout outs.  And if you are looking for an excuse to drink just celebrate the feast day of Saint Brigid of Ireland (who is the patron of the parish in Clara, Ireland) who said (in regards to heaven):

" I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings. I would like to be watching Heaven's family drinking it through all eternity."

Despite the fact that my last name is one of the most common surnames in the German speaking world, I am actually rather Irish.  My grandmother's maiden name was O'Brien and she is a lover of all things Ireland.  I inherited her fair Irish skin.  Thanks for the sunburn, Grandma!

"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind always be at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hands."
-An Old Irish Blessing

Agus cé go bhfeiceann Clóirtheach é!

(In Irish.  Please don't ask me how to pronounce it)

And that's how Clara C's it!

(In English)

Beware...

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.

Stay away from sharp objects and people that you don't trust, especially if the two happen to be coupled.  

And if you know anyone named Brutus (the odds are pretty slim), just stay out of his way. 


Quite honestly I'm blogging because I'm supposed to be writing a paper and I really would rather not be.  It's supposed to be about small town life, which apparently lost a lot of popularity in the late eighteenth century.  You'd think that this would be a pretty simple paper to write, due to the fact that I am from a very small town, and it is.  It's almost too simple.  I just don't want to write it.  


I would much rather be reading Thomas Merton.  I started The Seven Storey Mountain over break and I can't stop reading it.  I highly suggest it.




I can't stop listening to this song, so I thought I'd share it with you:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvwWzcLfH-k

I could have done without this one, however:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

  
I'm not usually one to rip on music, I mean, if I don't like it, I won't listen to it.  But that is just exceptionally horrible.  What is the world coming to?  Oh dear.

"Without a life of the spirit our whole existence becomes unsubstantial and illusory."

And that's how Clara C's it!

Lent.

Happy (?) Lent Dear Reader!
Perhaps Somber is a better choice of words.  


That's right, today is Ash Wednesday, which means that the next forty days will be spent fasting, abstaining, and alms-giving.  What a rush!


Nah, I like Lent.  It's not as bad as some people would have you believe.  It's really rather rewarding.  I think that the most rewarded I ever felt was after I went forty days without eating Saltines.  As lame as it sounds that was one of the hardest things to give up.  I used to eat like a sleeve a day.  It was pretty bad.  


But, if Lent is already getting you down (and since we aren't even a day in that's pretty bad) here are some Lenten e-cards to cheer you up:

And that's how Clara C's it!

Mardi Gras leads to...

Let's be as immoral as possible before Lent, so that we feel even more ashamed of ourselves during Lent.
Sounds good to me. 




And that's how Clara C's it!

Free at Last

"Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running—that's the way to live."

I've been looking for freedom and I've found it.  

Happy Spring Break John Carroll University. 

For all of those who still have a few weeks to go until Spring Break, or for those of you who don't have one; keep your chin up and your face in the sun. 

And that's how Clara C's it!